Is being gay a choice?

Today’s Link

So the topic today is a sticky one.  It is all about the question of does one chose to be gay.  This has all come about because Cynthia Nixon recently said in a article with the New York Times that being gay for her is a choice.  I think her exact words were something along the line of her being straight and her being gay, and that she thinks being gay is better.  She has since clarified it a little, indicating that she is really bisexual and that she just doesn’t like to use that word as bisexuals are always the ones who get dumped on and who nobody likes.  It seems like you have acheived that goal a different way now, honey, judging by the backlash your comments have caused.

This is an interesting topic if only for the fact that in recent years so much about “being gay” has revolved around the choice argument, namely that most LBGT people don’t feel that it is a choice and is something that they are born with (thank you Lady Gaga…..).  Certainly for me it was never a conscious choice; it was just the way the cookie crumbled.  Maybe Ms Nixon feels otherwise.  I think all of the LGBT people I know also have found that it isn’t a choice for them.

Today’s link looks at the question of whether it does indeed matter.  Would it make a difference if someone chooses to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual?  It’s an interesting question and one that has the potential for lots of heated discussion.  All the people who usually say it is a choice are conservative, STRAIGHT, politicians, which hardly gives them a credible place to be speaking from.  How can you say it is a choice, when you are from the other camp and have no experience of what it actually FEELS like mentally and emotionally to be gay?  But that kind of logic never seems to dawn on them.  But Ms Nixon is unusual in her comments, being an LGBT “whatever” person, and there are plenty of people who are unhappy with her comments as they feel it jeopardises the current moves toward equality.

But does it?  Is it a choice for some of you out there?  Does it matter if it is a choice?  Sound off in the comments and let us all know where you stand….heterosexuals too!

Big love,




3 thoughts on “Is being gay a choice?

  1. If it is the way one were born, then it would be genetic, but wouldn’t that be the complete antithesis of evolution and natural selection? The idea of evolution is the better survival and propogation of the species, but homosexuality doesn’t do that, does it? If it isn’t genetic, then what is the reason? I don’t pretend to have the answer.

  2. It is an interesting question, for sure. (okay, you’re lured me in to commenting David!).

    One clarification needs to be made about what “it” is (sorry Bill Clinton). Is “it” the attraction, the pull towards someone, or is “it” doing something about it? It seems what people mean usually is the attraction: I can’t help whom I’m attracted to. Which is true enough even if it’s also true that attractions can be ,more or less powerful depending on how much attention you give them (or money; Vegas anyone?).

    If we’re not talking about attraction (or “orientation” if you like, but I think that term polarizes what is actually a spectrum and one that is not entirely about sexuality) then we’re saying ‘I have no choice over what I do’ which doesn’t say very much for the persons human dignity. Whether gay or straight, can’t-help-it attraction doesn’t inevitably or necessarily lead to can’t-help-it action does it?

    Peter Tatchell (don’t know if your US readers know who he is?) wrote about this last week actually, saying that gay desire is not genetically determined:

  3. You say tomato, I say tomato,,, that doesn’t work as well in print. I have a problem with groups jumping down someones throat when they say something the group doesn’t agree with. I think this is a prime example. C Nixon is not the enemy here, as further evidenced in the post David made after this one. You can not choose who you are attracted to, it is just something you feel. You can choose to do something about it.

    As to why, and saying it is not natural I say pbbbttthhh. Honestly, it is as natural as the Earth going around the Sun. It just is. The species would survive if everyone on the planet had only same sex attraction, because we could choose to propagate with the opposite sex.

    just my two cents

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